Progress

Just a quick note...

Since my last post, I've been focusing on changing my all or nothing attitude...and it's working! In fact, I've lost 5 pounds!! Woohoo!!!!! I feel like a ton of pressure has been lifted, also. Pressure that I placed on myself that I must do this perfectly or not at all. Then, when I would eat the wrong foods, I would have a heck of a time beating myself up for it. This feels good (poor grammar, maybe)....good because I'm not feeling guilty and good because I am definitely eating much healthier, and so is my family! I'm not eating perfectly, but I have not abandoned the healthy choices because of the imperfection.

In other news, here are two victories that I have achieved...I have successfully given up Mountain Dew and bagels!  *takes a bow*

Next up: noodle side dish thingies :)

No Kidding!

My Life Coach has used this phrase with me a few times because it's very easy to "kid" myself about what I'm trying to accomplish and whether or not I am truly working towards accomplishing it. Yesterday, I was reminded of this phrase when a co-worker and fellow nutritionist asked me when I was going to get serious about losing weight. And, no, it wasn't a rude comment, but it definitely hit me hard....because I'm not serious about it. Then I see this picture on facebook this morning, and I'm feeling like there's a message that I'm supposed to be getting.

 

 

I feel like I'm stuck on the stair "I want to do it" most of the time. I make it to "I'll try to do it", but then fall back down to "I won't do it". This is very frustrating!

 

So, what I am working on now is not completely abandoning all forms of healthy behaviors just because I'm not doing it perfectly. My body will appreciate it, and it will only be a matter of time before there are more healthy than unhealthy behaviors in my life.

 

And, so it begins....I chose to have scrambled eggs in extra virgin olive oil with gorgonzola cheese for breakfast today instead of toast with peanut butter. Go me!!

 

All or Nothing

I struggle with an "all or nothing" attitude that does nothing! to help me as I'm working towards a healthier me. In fact, it doesn't help me with many things I'm trying to accomplish, whether it's writing a lecture, cleaning the bathroom or eating well and exercising. If I can't do whatever it is I'm trying to do "perfectly" (according to me), then why do it at all? Let's use the bathroom as an example. If I don't have the time, desire or energy to clean the bathroom completely like it should be done, I will put it off...then the bathroom just looks terrible. I have a difficult time (in fact I rarely do it) doing a quick wipe down of the sink and toilet just to make it look more presentable, so instead I leave it alone until I do have the time, desire or energy to do it right, but by then the bathroom has been looking dirty for a couple weeks. Is this making any sense? To put it into words regarding dieting, if I'm not going to diet perfectly then why eat healthy at all? If I'm not eating right, then why not eat completely unhealthy? See how this attitude is not helpful?!?

Even regarding this blog...I haven't written a post since June. Part of the reason is because I've been doing such a poor job eating that I didn't want to write about it. Now, I initally started this blog to help me work through this issue of becoming a healthier person. It was about me, and I wanted to post it in case someone might find it helpful as they were going through a similar situation...but somehow, the blog became more about the people reading it than myself. So, I'm focusing more on myself, without fear of posting something that someone might view as failure. This is a process, and it won't always be pretty.

So this post is one step in the right direction as I move away from an "all or nothing" attitude!

5k

Okay, so....I can't seem to find any motivation to start exercising!! It may be because weight loss occurs 80% from diet changes (although I'm not working very hard at this, either) and only 20% from exercise. Now that's not to say that there aren't a MILLION other reasons to exercise, but I'm all about looking for a good excuse...until now. I am going to sign up for my first 5k....RUN!! Not a walk...I've done that before, but I have never run a 5k. I found a good one for September, and went to sign up for it, but I can't until after July 4th. So, I'll mark my calendar...NO EXCUSES!!!

Here's the info:

Saturday, September 8, 2012 - ARC RACE 2012
Distance: Half marathon and 5k
Location: Liverpool, NY
Time: 9:10am
Race Details: Mark your calendar for the 18th Annual Arc Race, September 8th, 2012. More than 1600 people will join Arc in support of people with developmental disabilities. Enjoy a fun-filled day of running, walking, family entertainment and attractions. Run in the certified 5k, the certified Half-Marathon, or walk in the 3k Fun Walk! Kids 7-12 years of age can participate in the Kidz 1 Mile Fun Run! Bring family and friends to enjoy the day in our extensive Family Fun Zone. Arc Race has something for everyone!

I'm going to be using a great app to get ready for it - Couch to 5k Workout. I started using this app last summer...I'm a great starter...I can start with the best of them, but continuing and subsequent finishing...now that is where I fall short. The app alternates walking and running continuing to lengthen the time that you run until you are able to completely run a 5k in 9 weeks. I'll be posting my progress.

WISH ME LUCK!

Oh!!! My first pick-up for the CSA at Stones Throw Farm is this Saturday!! I'm so excited. I will definitely be posting pics of all the goodies.

Fat Flush

I was introduced to Ann Louise Gittleman's book The Fat Flush Plan by a patient who followed the diet successfully and lost the remaining 10 pounds or so that she needed to reach her goal weight. The plan targets cleansing the liver, and uses a cran-water drink to assist with this.

Here's the recipe for the drink:

Mix:
1 cup (8 oz) unsweetened 100% cranberry juice
7 cups (56 oz) water

Drink one cup of the cran-water at a time, finishing the 64 oz by bedtime. Upon waking and right before going to bed, on an empty stomach, mix one tablespoon of ground flaxseeds with one cup of the cran-water and drink.

Be sure that the cranberry juice that you get is not mixed with other juices. It must be pure cranberry juice.

I'm starting this today, and will let you know how it goes. I don't have flaxseeds right now, so will be using chia seeds, instead.

Do you see yourself as fat?

A couple of weeks ago, a patient asked me this question. She asked me because she has been working on losing weight since January, has lost 30 pounds, but still sees herself as fat. It didn't take me long to answer her question because I have thought about this in the past...my answer was "No". And I truly don't. Now don't get worried...you won't find me on the beach in a bikini or at the mall sporting a belly shirt. I'm not disillusioned, but over the next few days, I thought about this question more. I was worried that I might actually see myself as thin! In fact, I will actually look at other females, looking for someone whose body I think looks like mine so that I can see what I look like to other people. (Wow, that's a bit of an overuse of the word "look".) After spending some time thinking about this, though, I realized that I just simply don't see myself in that way, at all....neither fat nor thin...just Colleen. Now this wasn't always the case. I have definitely grown over the past six years, and have learned to love myself no matter what I look like in the mirror. I feel like loving oneself is important, maybe even more so when you don't like what you see in the mirror. How can you be ready to change something about yourself if you hate yourself? Would you consider yourself even worth it? It's difficult to work hard at something for someone that you hate. Sometimes I get worried, though, as I waiver between eating healthy and not, that loving myself as is, is making it difficult for me to care about changing. I mean, why change something if you're content?!? But even though I may be content with who I am, I am definitely not content with my health as it is. This is another reason why I do not want to focus on simply the scale as a measure of how well I am doing. As a chiropractor and nutritionist, I understand the impact our daily eating has on our health, and how a lifestyle of poor nutrition can lead to a chronic state of unhealth (made up word, I know, but I love using it!)...maybe not tomorrow, but definitely within 20 years. I see it often in my patients. I do not want to be that person! Although I am relatively healthy now, I do have some symptoms related to poor nutrition, which need to be addressed now.

And so I battle on....winning some and losing others.

Ham and Cheese Frittata

So, after a brief relapse (2 wks worth) involving way too many Doritos tacos from Taco Bell, I'm back to it with this delicious ham and ricotta cheese frittata. I will get this healthy eating thing right some day...sigh...

Ingredients:

1 cup diced fully cooked ham 1/2 cup chopped onion 6 eggs, lightly beaten

3/4 cup ricotta cheese 1/4 teaspoon pepper 1/4 cup shredded Cheddar cheese

Directions:

1.	In a large ovenproof skillet coated with nonstick cooking spray, saute the ham and onion until ham is lightly browned and onions are tender.
2.	In a bowl, combine the eggs, ricotta cheese and pepper; pour over ham mixture. As eggs set, lift edges, letting uncooked portion flow underneath. When the eggs are almost set, broil 4-6 in. from the heat for 1 minute or until top is set. Top with cheddar cheese. Broil 1 minute longer or until cheese is melted. *From allrecipes.com where I find the majority of my recipes.

Comfort me dear food...

Yesterday was tough...I covered a high volume chiropractic office, and adjusted 60 patients!! Just so you can fully understand, the busiest day in my practice was when I had 6 patients in one day. Now granted, I spend approximately 45 minutes with each patient, but still! 60?!? The morning was slower than the afternoon, which was nice because I got used to the pace...or so I thought. The afternoon was not only busier, but an hour longer. By the end, I felt like I couldn't really formulate a sentence. I needed to be comforted, so the first thing that popped into my head was how nice it would be to stop for some greasy fast food. I knew I wasn't going to, but sometimes I am shocked at my food response to stress. I never thought I was an emotional eater...just that I really liked food. :) But I, also, never really paid attention that closely, and the response was so natural that it never stood out as a poor response to stress.

So, instead of a fat-laden, addiction-filling, heart-attack-in-a-sack dinner, I had leftovers from the previous night. I know, thrilling, right? Ahhhh, but it was thrilling...a stuffed green pepper. YUM! It hit the spot, and soon after I was asleep. Here's the recipe:

MAKE ME STUFFED PEPPERS
2 large green peppers, halved lengthwise
1 pound ground beef
1/4 cup onion, chopped, 1 1/4 ounces
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 cup tomato, chopped, about 2 ounces (*I used canned diced tomatoes)
Salt and pepper, to taste
4 ounces cheddar cheese, shredded (*I used shredded Asiago)
2 ounces cheddar cheese, shredded, for topping (*I used sliced mozzarella)
I added: dried parsley, fresh basil and ricotta cheese

In a large pot, bring about half a potful of water to a boil. Add the peppers and boil for 3 minutes; drain. In the same pot, brown the hamburger, onion and garlic. Drain the fat and stir in the tomatoes and seasonings. Cook until the tomatoes are hot; remove from the heat and stir in the 4 ounces of cheese. Put the pepper halves in a greased 8x8" baking pan. Put a couple tablespoons of ricotta cheese in the bottom of each pepper then fill with the meat mixture. Layer the mozzarella cheese on top. Bake at 350º for 20-25 minutes.

Makes 4 servings

By the way, this is from a great website - http://www.genaw.com/lowcarb/index.html . She has wonderful recipes!

Colleen's Top Ten

Reasons to GIVE UP CARBOHYDRATES!

1. They make you crave more carbs
2. Excess turns into fat
3. They don't keep you satiated, so you will be hungry sooner than if you had meat and vegetables
4. Excess intake causes insulin resistance so cells can't get the glucose they need
5. High levels of blood glucose is damaging to the arteries
6. Excess carbs (not fat) will raise cholesterol
7. Sugar feeds the "bad bacteria" in your gut allowing them to proliferate
8. Many are also filled with trans-fats...baked goods, crackers, etc.
9. Grains are inflammatory
10. Excess affects nitric oxide, which can raise blood pressure

Day 3 Low Carb

First things first...I passed on cherry pie last night!! Go me!! Even better...it was easy to do! Now, if it was chocolate peanut butter pie, it may not have been as easy. More good news...I've lost 3 pounds since Friday!!!! I know, I know, I'm only supposed to be weighing myself on Tuesdays, but I was too curious. I've had a few moments over the past couple days where I feel sorry for myself that I can't have carbs, then my mind tries to wander down the path of "am I really going to be able to keep this up?", but I'm working hard to switch my thoughts from "I want it, but I can't have it" to "I can have it, but I don't want it." I also want to move away from looking to food to fill an emotional need. Last night, I was cooking for my boyfriend's son and became very aware of how often I would have taken just a little bite of something previously. I kept having the urge because it is a behavior that I do without even thinking, but I was successful in resisting the urge.

So, what have I been eating? Eggs, tuna with celery, roasted cauliflower (YUM!!)...I also made a low-carb meatloaf using venison and spicy pork rinds. Here is the recipe:

Low-Carb Meatloaf

1 1/2 pounds ground beef

1 cup crushed pork rinds

1 egg, lightly beaten

1 can tomato sauce

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

2 tablespoons dried parsley

1/4 cup mozzarella cheese

1/4 cup diced onions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix all ingredients.

Transfer mixture to shallow baking pan or loaf pan. Bake 45 minutes to 1 hour.

Servings: 8
According to MasterCook:
Calories: 318
Fat: 26 g
Protein: 18 g
Carbohydrate: 3 g
Fiber: 1 g
Cholesterol: 105 mg
Sodium: 362 mg

I didn't have enough pork rinds, so it was a little too wet and fell apart, but it was very good and definitely a keeper! I'll tweak the recipe the next time I make it because it needed more flavor.

I'm currently baking a spaghetti squash, and will most likely be stir-frying a bunch of veggies to serve over it. Oh, I'm also making potato salad for a family birthday party today, but I won't be having any.

Quick question for you guys...should I share my actual weight? I've seen other blogs that do, but I'm a little nervous to do that because a lot of people that I know read this and I'm not sure how ready I am for everyone to know how much I weigh. Do you feel it's a necessary thing to do in this situation? I want to be as helpful as I can to people, and as transparent as I can be so this is the battle I am having in my mind. Any thoughts would be appreciated. And what about sharing monthly pictures? Would that be helpful, beneficial, fun?? Let me know...thanks!

Farewell lover!

Remember that time that I said I wouldn't be eating any "last meals" before starting to eat healthy?!? Remember? I do, but I must admit that I've been doing a little of that this week...okay, okay I've been doing that a lot. You see, I will be losing a very dear and close friend this Friday, and I needed to say farewell....to sugar / carbohydrates some would even call it the cocaine of the food industry...whatever its name, I will not be hanging out with it much in the future. And, so, we have been doing a lot of partying these past few days, and I must say that I feel LOUSY!! Not a shocker, but I feel crappy...low level headache, sick to my stomach, tired, brain fog...just plain blah! I mean who wouldn't feel terrible after eating a bagel for breakfast, 2 slices of cheese pizza for lunch and ramen noodles for dinner? No lie...I did it! And I feel gross! This attempt at getting in as much carbs as I can in the last few days is really making me HATE carbs.

I also said, that one time, that I wouldn't be giving up entire food groups in my quest for becoming healthier. Am I just full or crap? Can I even be trusted with what I say? But here is what I realized...I cannot be in control when I continue to eat sugar. Since January, I can honestly say that I have not made much progress in eating healthier...and I blame carbs...not me, the carbs!!  Yes, I am being a bit silly, but for someone who is a carbohydrate addict and has severe cravings that seem out of control, omitting carbohydrates is the best answer. I attempted to omit carbs from only one meal per day, but I was not successful so this is the next step. My goal is 20 g of carbohydrate per day. That would leave 5 per meal with one snack at 5 g, also. I do have a partner in this...my mom! So wish us luck.

Supplements

I keep talking about my supplements, and my focus on getting more disciplined in taking them. You may be wondering what the big deal is or how hard it can really be to just take them every day. Others may be wondering what I am taking. Or maybe no one is wondering anything...either way I'm gonna tell you! The issue of discipline is something that I need to work on, so the supplements are a small symptom of a bigger problem. By taking them regularly, it is evidence to me that I am moving forward, making positive changes and becoming more disciplined; which is empowering! It's not even about simply forgetting to take the supplements because sometimes I would remember, but still choose to not take them. Why??? I don't really have an answer for that one.

So here's what I am taking:

Some I bought and others I am taking because I got them free. Did I mention that I'm a sucker for freebies?!? I take them a few times throughout the day, which can be a nuisance (not gonna lie), but it is much better to take supplements this way so that you are able to utilize the nutrients more effectively. If I were to take the entire dosage at one time, I would simply have an expensive bowel movement. :)

Fish oil - omega 3 fatty acids. I really should be taking some omega 6, too. I'm going to start using chia seeds, so I'll get some O-6 that way.

Catalyn - a whole food multivitamin.

Iodoral - iodine. I am taking 36 mg per day to saturate all of my peripheral iodine receptors. I should be taking 50, but I seem to always forget the fourth dose. After a couple months at this dose, I will go down to the maintenance dose of 12 mg per day...much higher than the RDA, but the RDA is a joke, especially when it comes to iodine.

Symplex F - to support the female hormonal system.

Inositol - free :) Beneficial for things like panic attacks, anxiety and depression, but I'm taking them a.) because they were free and b.) because they also assist with fat burning.

Chromium - also free; helps with balancing blood sugar, and we all know how much I need that!

Cranberry - free! But I tend towards UTIs, so I grabbed this for healthy maintenance when it was offered at my part-time job. Also contains some probiotics.

Fiber - free :) Also contains probiotics.

Feverfew - more freebies! Supports a healthy inflammatory response.

Rhodiola Rosea - also free...Supports a healthy response to stress.

I should probably also be taking additional B vitamins, trace minerals, magnesium, gallbladder support and possibly digestive enzymes. I have a history of a couple gallbladder attacks, and I have many symptoms of a dysfunctioning gallbladder - nausea, pain at right shoulder blade area, difficulty digesting high fat food, and a few more that I'll spare you from hearing.

Well, there's the list of supplements, and maybe now you can understand why I have struggled with taking them regularly. It's not as simple as popping a couple of pills in the morning. I will say that I feel much better when taking them...more energy/pep and less nausea.

Negative Self-Talk

How successful can you be at achieving a goal when you secretly believe that it is nearly impossible to succeed?? Just last night, my boyfriend, his 12 year old son (Tyler) and I were playing basketball at the park. Tyler was setting up for a shot and said "I'm not gonna make it." And what do you think happened? He didn't make it! So, I proceeded to give him a speech about the power of our thoughts, and how he must see himself making the perfect shot every time he sets up for one. Of course, this post is not about basketball, nor is the opening question of this post about Tyler. It's about me. And just like Tyler, negative self-talk interferes with my ability to "make the shot". Recently, I was preparing food to bring to the office for lunch...canned tuna with mayo, cilantro, salt and pepper. (It was delicious with the cilantro, btw.) I cut up celery sticks to dip in the tuna rather than making a sandwich. I was very proud of my healthy avoidance of carbohydrates (don't pick apart my use of mayo, please), but just as quickly the thought jumped into my head..."Why are you working so hard at this when you'll be eating junk before the day is over?" And what do you think happened? First, I felt like a failure, and second I was, in fact, eating junk by day's end. Sooooo, now what?


This pattern of thinking also appears in my career. Recently, I volunteered to offer soft tissue treatment to athletes after a half-marathon. I wasn't sure where I was supposed to go, so I left my portable table in the car while I went searching for the organizer. I walked into a building and saw two physically fit men standing next to two very nice massage tables with a sign advertising their physical therapy office. I realized that this is where I should set up, so without talking to anyone went out to my car to get my table....no, scratch that, I went out to my car to leave!! I called my sister in a slight panic, feeling entirely inadequate. Here I was, overweight and out of shape with a table that was way too low to be doing soft tissue treatment on and no sign! Like a good sister, she talked me down from the ledge that I was perched on and ready to jump off, and encouraged me to go back...so I did. And I was so glad that I did. I had a wonderful time, and met some wonderful people...including the two physical therapists. Yeah, my back hurt after because my table was in fact too low, but all in all it was a great day and a great experience. I may not have ever experienced this, though, if I had given in to my initial thought to leave.


I have no words of wisdom as to how to overcome this habit of negative self-talk other than to simply start using positive self-talk whether or not you truly believe it just yet. I meet with the Life Coach at my chiropractic college every few weeks, and one of the things she has me working on is for every time I say something negative about myself, I have to say something positive. This is harder than it seems! Because first I have to identify when I am saying something negative. It has become such a pattern in my life that I don't always recognize when I'm doing it.


So, here is something positive I can say about myself...I have been very disciplined with taking my supplements this month, and I feel great! Both physically and mentally. Mentally because I am actually succeeding at following a plan; and physically because of the good nutrition the supplements are providing. Exercise remains elusive, but I will not negatively berate myself over it. The last item I have been focusing on this month is eating one meal per day without carbohydrates. I have only been successful five times....which leads me to the next phase....eliminating carbohydrates entirely. Gasp!?!*!@!#! Say it isn't so!!! For someone with cravings that feel out of control, continuing to eat carbohydrates is like continuing to drink alcohol while going to AA meetings. Counterproductive.


This post has gotten long enough, so in my next post I will discuss why I am targeting carbohydrates as the source of my problem. Stay tuned!

CSA

I just joined my first CSA (Community Supported Agriculture), and I'm so excited! It's at Stones Throw Farm - http://stonesthrowfarm.biz/home/. The farm is less than 10 minutes from my house, which makes it even better. The cost ends up being $30/week for local, organic produce for a family of 4. This will help me achieve my goal of half my dinner plate being vegetables. I also want to focus on eating what's in season. I've been so spoiled by being able to go to a grocery store and having access to any produce, that I don't even know what's in season when. Then when I get the tomatoes home that I purchased in February, I get annoyed that they're mushy...huh?!? They were picked before ready and stored for months, and I wonder why they're mushy??

So starting June 23rd, every Saturday morning you know where I'll be.

The Highs and Lows

The highs and lows....there have been a little bit of both. To bring you up to speed...I weighed myself 1 week into the cleanse, and I had lost 7 pounds!!! Woohoo!! I conquered a few tough situations that week, as well. A friend from school came to visit the Saturday before, and wanted to go out for Vietnamese food. I had been following the cleanse plan perfectly...well besides incorporating chicken before the actual date, that is. Anyway, we went for Vietnamese, and I got pho.....such a delicious soup. Not entirely unhealthy, either, except one of the toppings is hoisin sauce, which lists sugar as its first ingredient. I thoroughly enjoyed the pho. (A side note....after the Vietnamese food, my head felt a bit detached and "foggy"...that is what sugar does to me.) Later that night, I had a family birthday party to attend. My sister made pasta with meatballs with all the starchy additions - italian bread, garlic bread with cheese. In the past, I would have completely thrown the entire day out after "screwing up" and eating the pho...with eggrolls and freshly squeezed lime juice (with sugar), too...did I forget to mention those?? But I didn't. In fact, I didn't eat anything at my sister's house. She did have a delicious salad, but I truly was not hungry after having a late lunch with my friend. Then, on Sunday, I made oatmeal raisin chocolate chip cookies for my boys. I didn't eat any!!! Until Tuesday night....but I only had 2 then. I realized that I am an emotional eater when, on Monday, I was a bit stressed and kept chanting "I wanna eat 10 cookies, I wanna eat 10 cookies." I didn't, and it may sound silly that I am just now realizing that I'm an emotional eater, but I guess I just never fully paid attention to why I was eating something.


The second week of the cleanse, I didn't lose any weight. It may have something to do with the fact that I basically stopped following the cleanse during that week. By January 24th, the actual end date of the cleanse, I was back to my starting weight....minus 0.8lbs. Aaaannnnnndddddd, this is why I've delayed writing this entry. It's not a whole lot of fun to admit failure, but even amid this failure, I am working on learning about myself and becoming more aware of why I do what I do. You see, I am a perfectionist. If I'm not doing something "perfectly" then why do it at all. Why exercise when I've been eating like crap?? Why continue eating healthy if I just blew it at lunch?? So, I feel like I'm back where I started, and feeling a bit discouraged about it.


But I refuse to stop trying...so, beginning today I have created a chart with three behavioral adjustments that I will work on for the month of February. Each day that I am successful, I will put a check mark next to that item. At the end of the month, instead of thinking that I am a complete failure, I will be able to see exactly how I did and celebrate the positive things I have done. For this month, I will focus on the following:


1. At dinner, half of my plate will be vegetables.
2. Take supplements as scheduled. Currently, I am only taking a multivitamin and iodine, but I keep forgetting!! I want to become more disciplined, so this is why this item is on my list. It may seem small to some, but it is a sign of a bigger problem for me.
3. Exercise daily. This will consist of either walking (or walk/run depending on how motivated I am) or cardio videos at home.


So, I've confessed.....aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh. I feel better already!

Cleanse Day 4

It has been so difficult not weighing myself!! Every morning, I have wanted to get on the scale, but I don't want to report here that I did it. This morning, I actually contemplated weighing myself, but not writing that I did...but I didn't. No really, I didn't.

The cleanse is going well, finally. As suspected, I felt pretty lousy on Wednesday. I was very nauseous and had a killer headache. I didn't eat much of anything, and couldn't stomach the shakes. When I was finally hungry that night...here's what I had...

Lentils with carrots, onion, garlic, ginger, cilantro and scallions....YUM! Even my boyfriend had some. I sliced up a portobello mushroom, sauteed it in grape seed oil and served it on the side. Little side note on another behavior needing to change...while I was sauteing the mushroom and cooking for my boyfriend's son, I kept "tasting" the lentils. I probably ate....well I don't have a clue how much I ate, which is why I need to stop eating while cooking!

Later that night, I was wanting something crunchy, so I made kale chips. I've made them before, but never cut out the center stalk until this time. They were much better with it removed.

I tossed bite size pieces of kale with grape seed oil and salt, and baked them on 350 until crispy...about 10-15 minutes. I ate too much of these, as well, and suffered for it the next morning. Yes, there is a trend of me eating too much, surprised? But I'm aware of it...although, becoming more conscious about what I'm eating doesn't always mean that I'll make the best decision. I guess a kale chip binge is better than a Doritos binge, but the behavior is still the same.

What's for dinner tonight?? I'm about to saute green beans, carrots, onions, scallions, spinach, broccoli and orange pepper and serve it over spaghetti squash.

My first goal

Today, I started a 21-day purification program. I've done this same program before, and love the way I feel on it.....that is, after the first few days. Day two was my most difficult day. Both because of the drastic change in diet and because of the symptoms I had - headache, irritability, generalized achiness...oh, and did I say irritability?? Imagine a toddler throwing a tantrum...it is all I can do to refrain from doing the same. By day four, I had regained my composure and felt in control of my eating.

You see, I am a carbohydrate addict. How do I know this, you ask? Well...in 2007 bc (before chiropractic), I did an elimination diet to find out if something I was eating was causing the nausea I was experiencing. Basically, I eliminated any allergenic food from my diet until any symptoms were gone, then reintroduced foods one at a time to see what bothered me. Sugar was one of the foods (I use that term loosely) eliminated; and because I wasn't eating sugar, I wasn't craving any sugary food. I felt in total control! Then came time to reintroduce sugar back into my diet, and see how it affected me. Soooo....on that day I was eating teaspoons of table sugar. You are supposed to eat the food in its purest form, so that there are no other ingredients that might be the trigger. That night I had the worst cravings for ANYTHING sugar, and I ended up breaking the diet. I remember being so furious!!! No wonder I feel like I have no willpower, but I realized it isn't about willpower. It's like asking an alcoholic to only have one beer. I knew then that if I wanted to feel in control of my eating, and not feel like dieting is always an uphill battle; I needed to severely restrict carbohydrates (sugar). But I didn't....and so here I am.

The purification program goes a little something like this: 2-3 shakes per day, unlimited amount of vegetables (except the starchy ones), fruit (vegetable intake should be twice the amount of fruit intake), lentils (1/2 cup serving, 1-2 per day) and wild/brown rice (1/2 cup per day). There are a few supplements to take, as well, to assist in the purification process. Foods/items not allowed: alcohol, caffeine, tobacco, nuts/seed, dairy, grains (except wild/brown rice) and processed/refined foods. On day 11 I can add 2-4 servings of protein (3oz = 1 serving) per day in the form of lean meat (chicken) or deep sea fish (salmon, cod, sea bass). When I did the program before, I had chicken on day 4...it was either that or a Snickers bar, so I went with the chicken and BOY did it taste delicious!! High-quality oils can also be used - coconut oil, extra-virgin olive oil, fish oil, flaxseed oil or grape seed oil.

This morning I made coffee like I do every morning....prepared a mug of it for myself....sat down at the computer and had a few sips...only to realize that I start the cleanse today!!! I actually contemplated starting tomorrow for that stupid cup of coffee, but instead I brought the mug out to the kitchen and dumped it. I've been wanting to eliminate coffee from my diet, anyway; not because of the coffee, but because of what I put in it - coffee-mate french vanilla or hazelnut creamer. Did we discuss my issue with sugar??

I'll check back in once I'm over the rough patch...you don't want to talk to me then.