How successful can you be at achieving a goal when you secretly believe that it is nearly impossible to succeed?? Just last night, my boyfriend, his 12 year old son (Tyler) and I were playing basketball at the park. Tyler was setting up for a shot and said "I'm not gonna make it." And what do you think happened? He didn't make it! So, I proceeded to give him a speech about the power of our thoughts, and how he must see himself making the perfect shot every time he sets up for one. Of course, this post is not about basketball, nor is the opening question of this post about Tyler. It's about me. And just like Tyler, negative self-talk interferes with my ability to "make the shot". Recently, I was preparing food to bring to the office for lunch...canned tuna with mayo, cilantro, salt and pepper. (It was delicious with the cilantro, btw.) I cut up celery sticks to dip in the tuna rather than making a sandwich. I was very proud of my healthy avoidance of carbohydrates (don't pick apart my use of mayo, please), but just as quickly the thought jumped into my head..."Why are you working so hard at this when you'll be eating junk before the day is over?" And what do you think happened? First, I felt like a failure, and second I was, in fact, eating junk by day's end. Sooooo, now what?
This pattern of thinking also appears in my career. Recently, I volunteered to offer soft tissue treatment to athletes after a half-marathon. I wasn't sure where I was supposed to go, so I left my portable table in the car while I went searching for the organizer. I walked into a building and saw two physically fit men standing next to two very nice massage tables with a sign advertising their physical therapy office. I realized that this is where I should set up, so without talking to anyone went out to my car to get my table....no, scratch that, I went out to my car to leave!! I called my sister in a slight panic, feeling entirely inadequate. Here I was, overweight and out of shape with a table that was way too low to be doing soft tissue treatment on and no sign! Like a good sister, she talked me down from the ledge that I was perched on and ready to jump off, and encouraged me to go back...so I did. And I was so glad that I did. I had a wonderful time, and met some wonderful people...including the two physical therapists. Yeah, my back hurt after because my table was in fact too low, but all in all it was a great day and a great experience. I may not have ever experienced this, though, if I had given in to my initial thought to leave.
I have no words of wisdom as to how to overcome this habit of negative self-talk other than to simply start using positive self-talk whether or not you truly believe it just yet. I meet with the Life Coach at my chiropractic college every few weeks, and one of the things she has me working on is for every time I say something negative about myself, I have to say something positive. This is harder than it seems! Because first I have to identify when I am saying something negative. It has become such a pattern in my life that I don't always recognize when I'm doing it.
So, here is something positive I can say about myself...I have been very disciplined with taking my supplements this month, and I feel great! Both physically and mentally. Mentally because I am actually succeeding at following a plan; and physically because of the good nutrition the supplements are providing. Exercise remains elusive, but I will not negatively berate myself over it. The last item I have been focusing on this month is eating one meal per day without carbohydrates. I have only been successful five times....which leads me to the next phase....eliminating carbohydrates entirely. Gasp!?!*!@!#! Say it isn't so!!! For someone with cravings that feel out of control, continuing to eat carbohydrates is like continuing to drink alcohol while going to AA meetings. Counterproductive.
This post has gotten long enough, so in my next post I will discuss why I am targeting carbohydrates as the source of my problem. Stay tuned!
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