Do you see yourself as fat?

A couple of weeks ago, a patient asked me this question. She asked me because she has been working on losing weight since January, has lost 30 pounds, but still sees herself as fat. It didn't take me long to answer her question because I have thought about this in the past...my answer was "No". And I truly don't. Now don't get worried...you won't find me on the beach in a bikini or at the mall sporting a belly shirt. I'm not disillusioned, but over the next few days, I thought about this question more. I was worried that I might actually see myself as thin! In fact, I will actually look at other females, looking for someone whose body I think looks like mine so that I can see what I look like to other people. (Wow, that's a bit of an overuse of the word "look".) After spending some time thinking about this, though, I realized that I just simply don't see myself in that way, at all....neither fat nor thin...just Colleen. Now this wasn't always the case. I have definitely grown over the past six years, and have learned to love myself no matter what I look like in the mirror. I feel like loving oneself is important, maybe even more so when you don't like what you see in the mirror. How can you be ready to change something about yourself if you hate yourself? Would you consider yourself even worth it? It's difficult to work hard at something for someone that you hate. Sometimes I get worried, though, as I waiver between eating healthy and not, that loving myself as is, is making it difficult for me to care about changing. I mean, why change something if you're content?!? But even though I may be content with who I am, I am definitely not content with my health as it is. This is another reason why I do not want to focus on simply the scale as a measure of how well I am doing. As a chiropractor and nutritionist, I understand the impact our daily eating has on our health, and how a lifestyle of poor nutrition can lead to a chronic state of unhealth (made up word, I know, but I love using it!)...maybe not tomorrow, but definitely within 20 years. I see it often in my patients. I do not want to be that person! Although I am relatively healthy now, I do have some symptoms related to poor nutrition, which need to be addressed now.

And so I battle on....winning some and losing others.